check in

When life is busy for you, what can I do / things I shouldn’t do so that you feel loved and supported? How can I best be there for you?

Its an important question cuz life is gonna be quite busy for you till atleast the first week of work. I just want to make sure I’m not being annoying/getting in your way, and make sure I’m also not too distant/abrupt with our interaction. Like I want to know what would make you feel good about talking to me; do you want to call/talk less and have like a longer convo less freq? do you want to limit our interaction to a couple mins at the end of each day and not get too deep w convo? How can I best be a source of comfort and happiness and peace for you?

Is there anything you feel like you don’t know about me? Is there anything you purposely haven’t asked me about?

with this i additionally mean anything of the form “idk how he would (behave / react / be like) in X situation” or “i need my husband to (agree on / be like / let me / want / give me) X; this hasn’t come up yet because we haven’t gotten that far but idk if *** would (agree on / be like / let me / want / give me) X”

Are there things you expect of your husband that you don’t expect of your bf?

Does me not being religious/involved with community through religion/culture bother you? Are you anticipating I will change, or that you’ll be able to change me?

*In your mind, is there anything that makes you think “The relationship isn’t mature enough yet, it’s only been X long”? *

What do you anticipate our interaction to be like when daily life is more stable? i.e. we’re both just working, don’t have too much else going on. how often do we see each other? go on dates? overnight trips? do you anticipate any potential obstacles we might face?

Is there anything you’ve missed in our relationship lately? Anything that makes you think “I liked when we did/were like X before, I miss that”?

Name something (or more than one thing) that you’re regularly thankful is the way it is between us

What is something (a behaviour, a quality, anything) of mine that you feel like is holding me back? Things that I do or a way that I think that doesn’t let me grow/progress in a certain way

Is there anything you think I won’t like about you given enough time? Is there something you see in me that you think you would eventually not like?

Do you think I have any insecurities relating to our relationship? What do you think they are?

*Are there things/experiences from the past that you think continue to affect how you view love? A positive affect? Negative? Do you feel an element of dissolution when it comes to being in love? *

What made you pick me? Why me? Why do you continue to pick me? (What about me makes you stay with me?)

Am I “manly” enough? What do you think about what is traditionally considered masculinity/masculine? Do I exhibit those traits and behaviours to you, and if so does that tie into your attraction to me? What are things you don’t see from me in this regard that you would like to see from me?

What external factors/influences would hypothetically be the reasons for us to break up? What about internal factors (things that don’t have to do with anything/anybody else but you and me)? How likely are those things to occur at some point?

Are you seriously okay with spending the rest of your life with me? Like fr fr

What causes you to lose interest in something over time? What could cause you to lose interest/fall out of love/not be attracted to me? soon, 2 years, 5 years, 15 years from now?

Are there things you hope I will/you’re waiting for me to become? Eg. any kind of career, appearance/physique, personality changes?

What do we have differing ideologies about?