discussion 2

Yk when I really think about it, I think there are so many things we need to have already figured out and gone through in our relationship before we’re married, but I don’t think any of those things are gonna happen.

Like if I have to be blunt, I think our wedding is rushed, I think we are not ready to be married yet, I think we need to hash out a lot more stuff, and as of right now I can’t say with 1000% confidence that neither of us will be unhappy with the choices we made in 3 years from now.

I think the biggest points of contention, in chronological order, are going to be:

• Family, in-laws, expectations
• Cultural differences becoming more amplified, the level of mutual understanding and mutual respect of each other’s background diminishing over time
• Relationship to career vs relationship to each other
• Identity erasure vs preservation; one or both of us will eventually feel we abandoned who we are to be together, and there will be inescapable resentment
• We are going to have a rough time with anything to do with the topic of having a baby and raising a kid and family

We love each other a super lot, this we both know! Even then, life is not smooth sailing as it pertains to everything relationship related :/ Why is that?

Do you think there will always be some kind of turmoil? As in, specific issues are transient but things being not completely “A-ok 👌” is just how life will always be for you and me?

i worry about many things, most of which are near impossible to do anything about, or for which it is unknown how i can affect reality. I recognize that, but i worry because I want/don’t want certain outcomes, and the possibility of those outcomes happening creates fear in me, which creates the worry