sleep battle

No matter how much I sleep I never feel rested. I’ve never woken up and been energetic in my life, not even once. The experience of waking up is painful, I’m always sore, some parts of my body always have the tingly feeling that tells me I didn’t have good circulation there, I don’t even have the brain power to instruct my body to move because my brain hasn’t woken up yet completely, I genuinely can’t will my own limbs to move for a while. I actually have to somehow stay awake long enough for my brain to wake up to the point where I can control my arms and legs, but my brain is actively trying to fall completely back asleep. It’s a literal battle, every single morning, and some days I lose but even when I win I’m already exhausted.

It’s always a battle just to get out of bed, no matter if I’ve slept for 5 hours, 7 hours or 12. It leaves me feeling horrible before the day has even begun, and every single day I’ve ever lived has started this way.