still bad at gifts

I think I’m overall a good boyfriend objectively. I believe I’m good at expressing and articulating myself. I think I’m attentive and I prioritize you over everything mostly. I think that if I continue being this way, you won’t regret being with me forever and I can offer you a happy life together. You should correct me if I’m wrong in my thinking obv, cuz I need to know if my perception of myself is how you perceive me

What I don’t feel confident about is gifts and dates (among other things, but these come to mind rn). I feel that I’m not good at fresh date ideas, and I also feel I’m very bad at gifts. It makes sense, I don’t have much practice with either, but I feel bad about it. I just don’t want to bore you, or to not offer you a fun time. I don’t think I’m good at romantic dates either, I feel inept at taking you on interesting dates or coming up with fresh date ideas

For gifts, I’m no good at clothes so it would be a bad idea to try and buy you clothes. I really want to get you jewelry but idk how and I fear you won’t like it and you won’t tell me that you don’t like it and so you won’t ever wear it (not to mention that I anticipate you’ll make it really hard for me by not cooperating when I want any measurements from you or info about your preferences). I mean my mom tried giving you some gifts too but from what I can tell those were misses. That’s fine but the only feedback I got was through lack of feedback and observing over long periods of time. I’m not any better at style or fashion or anything like that, it’s just so unlikely I’ll pick something you’ll acc like and you probably won’t be upfront about feedback so I’ll never improve.

And most of all I always obsess over whether a gift for you is enough effort/thoughtfulness or not, and I almost always conclude it’s not good enough and I stop. Genuinely, this stuff upsets me a lot. You never even accept me paying for you on anything (or now even paying for myself), so it’s intimidating to me to try and give you gifts. I like the idea of giving you things randomly unexpectedly (that’s why I’ve done it in the past a couple times), but I feel very stuck now. I can’t top myself and I don’t know what you like.

I’m not expecting you to solve this for me or offer your help, I just wanted to tell you this stuff just to tell you, I just wanted you to listen to me so ty ❤️